I would take tom to a private room and after telling him the news his wife has passed I would use option 2 ‘this is such a shock for you would you like me to phone your daughter or stay with you while you phone her?’ This is because I think this would be a comfort to Tom as he know he can call someone for support and also you wont leave him if he doesn’t want you too.

i feel all other options are very abrupt and option one would be hard to say as you didn’t know her personally and this could cause offence to Tom as he may feel it is a lie and may feel hurt you are saying that.